Parenting story of the day: Decided to give H tons of bath toys tonight so she could have a super bath time experience and also to keep her amused because I had I in the bathroom with me and these days he's a little unpredictable. I set I up in his whale tub with a blanket figuring it would make a good seat for him while H bathed. I grabbed everything I needed Jammie's, diapers, wipes for both kids and thought to myself this is easy I can do this, 2 kids no problem! H was playing for awhile and I was starting to fuss so I started nursing while H played in the bath. Not ideal time to nurse but kinda good because she couldn't go anywhere. Then I see H releasing little fart air bubbles into the bath. I had just said to her moments before that her belly looked pretty full so I figured she was gassy. We discussed her tooting for a minute as she repeated the word tooting to me and giggled as though she just discovered that farting especially farting in the tub was now funny. I reminded her not to poop in the tub and then quicker than I could have anticipated H got into a squatting position and loads of little poop cannons shot their way into her clean bath water. Totally unprepared to do anything but watch it happen because I was cozily nursing in my arms. H stood up said she was done and then quickly wanted to depart her now poop filled tub. I abruptly ended I's feeding and told him sorry buddy gotta take care of this (thankfully i sensed he knew something was up because he just looked at me bright eyed and sweet with a no problem Mommy I'll wait look) so I grabbed H and told her to go grab a book while I played a game of dodging poop cannons and fishing out all of H's gazillion toys.
I successfully fished out her toys and hit the plug dreading the next step because I'd actually have to manage the poop. I looked over at H and she was super content looking at a book and I stared at me dreamily happy with his semi-milk coma.
I drew my attention to the draining tub and started catching the poop cannons with a cup. I did a quick check back at H and I and that's when I saw H squatting again with a book on the floor in front of her with a puddle growing by the second. My mistake entirely, I should have known better than to leave her free without a diaper but I was a little distracted by the state of my bathtub. I grabbed a towel threw it under her, chucked her book away from the quickly approaching pee puddle and gave her bottom half a good wipe down with a wipe since putting her back in the tub wasn't an option at the moment. Put her diaper on, washed the floor and we were back to the poop business. The tub had entirely drained so my only option was to physically touch the poop cannons. I'd be lying if I didn't say it made my stomach turn a bit each time I held a nugget in my hand (with toilet paper) to transfer it to the toilet.
I sprayed down the tub once they'd all been retrieved and brought to their proper home- the toilet! Order restored! I got H dressed, hair brushed. Awe crisis averted. I had H play while I dressed I in his Jammie's. Then I sat down to start feeding I starting to relax and then he vomited on me. I guess I should have burped him before abruptly putting him down. I feel so sexy right now :)
Moral of the story: Parenting is comical.