Recently I have adopted some very important roles aunt, god mother and mommy to my beautiful baby boy. I take these new roles very seriously and love the person they are making me. But what about my old roles, what about who I was before I adopted these new roles? She is still there just hidden under breastfeeding, up all nights, playtime and lots of baby kisses.
At first finding a balance wasn't a big concern of mine, my main concern was figuring out how to be a mom. Knox (my baby boy) is a big eater and not so much a big sleeper, so for the first couple of months it seemed like all I did was nurse, cuddle and try and get a wink of sleep when I could (which is why there was no writing happening lol). Now Knox is four months old and its getting easier to manage and rediscover all my other roles.
|My sweet boy Knox|
Its important to remember who you are to everyone else in the world, but its also important to remember who you are to yourself. I can see how easy it is to get lost in a new role, how it can completely consume you. So if your in that spot, feeling consumed, step back and analyze the situation. Acknowledge your feelings, its totally normal to feel overwhelmed in a new role. Start small, take little you moments in the day, call your spouse just to say hi or I love you,drop by your friends for a coffee, take up one of those offers for a babysitter, try to get a glimpse of all the things you loved to do before the big change. When we adopt a new role, no matter what it is, we will never be the exactly same person as we were before, we've changed, grown and evolved into anew breed of you. But remember in evolution the thing that evolves doesn't get replaced or changed completely, it slowly adds to itself or removes something to make itself a better being. So add, change or remove but don't forget that you are multi dimensional and more than just one thing.
All your roles make you, so give and take, ask for help, love all of you and embrace the ever changing creature that is you!